A picky eater can look like a kid sitting at the table who doesn't touch their food, or a kid who insists their food belongs on the floor. Usually by 18 months playing is more fun than eating, food refulsal kicks in, and picky eating becomes the norm that can last for years.
This "phase" can be stressful for parents who just want to make sure their child eats something, let alone something healthy.
Snacks can play a role in alleviating stress- both for the parent and the child. We'll take a look at:
The Root of Picky Eating and Meal-Time Stress
Early Food Refusal
As a WIC dietitian who works with parents and toddlers, it’s very common for parents to be concerned that their children are eating less and becoming more picky with their eating.
Why is picky eating so common in childhood?
There are several reasons why picky eating starts at a young age.
First, after 6 months of age, growth begins to slow down. Appetities decrease.
However, this isn't obvious to parents because children are just beginning to eat solids at 6 months old. And from about that age until about 18 months, eating is exciting! It's a new skill, it's something besides breastmilk or formula, and every flavor is novel.
However, by 18 months, children are walking and playing. These new skills replace the excitement of food. Sitting at a highchair to eat is secondary to exploring on two feet.
Toddlers also get better at remembering things. They expect routines to prepare for eating. If they're disrupted, they can get upset and refuse to eat. They also remember which foods are familiar and are quick to push new foods away.
Distractions during meal times also lead to food refusal. Just like adults who get distracted by their phones, other people in the room, and shiny objects, children get over-stimulated and can even throw food when too many things are happening at meal times.
This phase of food refusal often lends itself to stressful meal environments for the whole family and can lead right into picky eating.
Picky Eating Phase
As toddlers age, not only can refusal continue, but the food the children eat can be very limited.
Every week a parent of a child between the ages of 2 and 16 tells me something like:
"My son used to love broccoli and sweet potatoes, but now the only veggie he'll eat is carrots." OR
"My daughter refuses to eat veggies. She insists on mac & cheese and hot dogs every night."
I hear from parents that their kids are more willing to “snack” than eat full meals. There are a few reasons this may be occuring.
First, snacks tend to be smaller portions than meals, which is less intimidating for children.
However, a second reason is that parents also tend to put less pressure on their children to eat snacks.
When children feel pressure to eat, stress and anxiety can build, even if it’s not visible to the parent. Over time, the relationship with food can become associated with negativity, fear, stress, rebellion, attempts to please the parent, inadequacy, and having to force feed when not hungry.
Snacks, where little pressure exists, tend to be safer eating experiences for kids.
The Role of Snacking in Kids’ Diets
If snacking is a regular part of a child’s eating habits, with full meals only being picked at, it’s important to make every bite count. These children need to get their nutrients from their snacks.
Snacks can contribute to a balanced diet if they focus on the five food groups:
fruits
vegetables
lean protein
whole grains
dairy
Although whole grains and dairy are optional, kids tend to enjoy these food groups most and they can support digestion, bone growth, and stable blood sugar levels.
Children’s diets can actually affect their eating habits and health later on. According to a 2023 study in the journal Nutrients, everything from picky eating, to obesity and diabetes, and even heart disease have been linked to childhood dietary patterns.
Fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins should be part of every snack and meal to support a child’s current and long-term health.
Guidelines for Smart Snacking
Parents might want to consider the role of the snack to make better choices about what to offer their child.
Is the snack complementing meals for added calories and nutrition because the child is deficient in a vitamin/mineral or underweight?
Is the snack a meal replacement because the child refused to eat breakfast?
Or is the snack a special treat purely for enjoyment- such as an ice cream cone on a hot day?
It’s a great idea to work with a dietitian to help determine the best snacks and timing for your family’s situation, but in general some guidelines may help parents plan for the week.
Consistent Timing
Although children can be great models for listening to their bodies and only eating when they are hungry, most families need to operate on a schedule. This means setting meals and snacks at similar times each day and training the body to be hungry at those times.
Try to offer a nutritious breakfast, lunch, and dinner at similar times each day, and if the child doesn’t eat at one or two of those meals, offer a nutritious snack about 2 hours later. This reduces pressure on both parent and child, knowing that something healthy can be eaten a little later.
Bring Nutrient-Dense Snacks Home
Another guideline to set is to avoid purchasing ultra-processed foods. If they’re not in the home, children can’t find them or throw a tantrum over them.
Children will learn to eat what’s available. If nutrient-dense foods are offered at meals and snacks, parents may experience less stress and worry around their child’s eating habits.
Know Your Role
Finally, the famed author, researcher, dietitian, and psychotherapist Ellyn Satter coined the concept of the Division of Responsibility. This says that it’s up to the parents to decide:
what food will be served
where the food will be served
and when the food will be served
It is the child's responsibility to decide how much, if any, to eat.
Adhering to the Division of Responsibility can be challenging, but it supports a child’s healthy relationship with food and leads to better outcomes.
Features of a Healthy Snack
Whole Foods
Healthy snacks should be made with whole foods. Whole foods are minimally processed foods like fruits and vegetables.
In contrast to ultra-processed foods which contain ingredients that can’t be found or made in a home kitchen and contribute to long-term health problems, whole foods can be quick to prepare and support the immune system, growth, development, mood, and positive behavior outcomes in children.
For instance, instead of offering a fruit roll-up, parents might offer a small bowl of berries instead.
Macronutrients
Healthy snacks should include all three macronutrients: carbs, protein, and fat.
Carbs are important to provide the energy that not only fuels the body, but also the brain and internal organs.
Protein supports many functions in the body, but is critical for children’s growth and development, as well as the immune system.
Healthy fats allow the body to absorb fat-soluble vitamins from food, support brain development in children, and protect vital organs.
Micronutrients
Healthy snacks will also offer micronutrients- vitamins and minerals. A variety of vitamins and minerals should be consumed at every snack since we need so many of them throughout the day to function properly.
Each color of fruits and veggies offers a different vitamin and/or mineral, so eating the rainbow of produce throughout the week will support a child’s health.
Visually Appealing
For kids, another important feature of healthy snacks is visual appeal.
People, especially children, eat with their eyes first. Snacks should be colorful and if possible, arranged in a fun shape like a face or flower to maximize enjoyment and a good relationship with food.
Portion Size
Similarly, small portions reduce pressure on children to eat more than they are hungry for. Bite-sized portions are less intimidating.
Small snacks allow children to listen to their bodies and ask for more if they are still hungry after finishing a small portion.
Healthy Snack Ideas for Kids
Snacks are acceptable to offer to kids. Below are a few quick and healthy snack ideas to offer that will ensure the child gets something nutritious in their bellies that day:
Whole grain peanut butter sandwiches (Get your child used to the taste of peanut butter with no added sugar and whole grain bread.)
Whole grain crackers with hummus and cucumber slices
Stone ground tortilla chips and salsa
Banana with almond butter yogurt dip
Cheese and apple slices
Plain yogurt and berries
Hard-boiled egg with baby orange slices
Easy Snack Recipes for Kids
Overnight Oats
Overnight Oats offer fiber, protein, and monounsaturated fats. They can be made ahead of time and customized with fruit or cocoa based on preference. Easy recipes for multiple overnight oats flavors can be found here.
Fro-Yo Berry Tarts
Fro-Yo Berry Tarts are similar to cheesecake bites, but are low in fat and added sugar. The tarts provide a good source of fiber, antioxidants, vitamin C, calcium, vitamin D, and probiotics. For the recipe, click here.
Gingerbread Snowballs
Gingerbread Snowballs are no-added-sugar energy bites high in fiber and protein. The spices offer health benefits as well, but can be adapted for children who don’t care for gingerbread by eliminating the cloves and ginger. Find the recipe here.
Spring Rolls with Peanut Dressing
For bigger kids, veggie spring rolls are an excellent snack because they are full of veggies, healthy fats, and low in calories. Find the recipe here.
Tips for Choosing Healthy Store-Bought Snacks
Although homemade snacks may be best for health and control over the ingredients, there is certainly room for quick store-bought snacks.
Ingredients
When choosing store-bought snacks, consider the level of processing. To do this, look at the ingredient list. If the list is long and includes unfamiliar ingredients, skip it. This is a sign of an ultra-processed food.
Nutrition Label 5/20 Rule
The nutrition label can also be handy to determine if a food is very high in added sugars. Anything over 20% Daily Value (DV) is high. Anything under 5% DV is low.
Added sugar, saturated fat, and sodium should stay under 5% DV.
Fiber and protein can be 20% or over.
Food Dyes
Finally, a word of caution with snacks containing food dyes. Stronger evidence has recently revealed that food dyes may impact a child’s neurobehavioral and renal function.
In fact, in May 2024, the State of California voted to advance a bipartisan bill to ban six harmful food dyes and titanium dioxide from school food citing the dyes have been found to cause neurobehavioral problems in some children, and titanium dioxide has been linked to DNA damage and immune system harm.
Cheesy snacks like puffs, crackers, and chips, as well as breakfast cereals and sports drinks, for instance, often contain dyes labeled as “Artificial colors,” “Red Dye No. 40,” or “Yellow 5.”
Snacks with dyes do not support the healthy development of a child’s brain or other organs, so try to substitute these types of snacks with fruit, yogurt, cheese sticks, or bars made with only fruit and nuts.
Strategies for Encouraging Picky Eaters to Try New Foods
Although picky eating can be a phase that comes and goes during childhood, there are a few ways to reduce a child’s selectiveness when it comes to food.
100 Foods Before 1
First, if the child is still under age 1, research supports offering a diverse diet each week to reduce picky eating later on. Some set a goal for 100 foods before one year of age.
Exposure to a variety of foods before age 12 months is an evidenced-based practice to promote good eating habits later in life.
Continuous Exposure
If your child is already over a year old, exposure can still work. Continually offering vegetables and other nutritious foods increases familiarity.
Remember routine? Children become more comfortable as they routinely see veggies. Even if they refuse them for one to two months, the comfort level improves over time and the likelihood of the child eating those foods increases.
Pairing Foods
Pairing a new or disliked food with a food the child enjoys is another strategy for helping picky eaters overcome their aversions.
For instance, if your child will eat carrots, but not broccoli, continue to pair the carrots with the broccoli. Over time they may come to associate broccoli with a food they enjoy and start to eat it.
Avoid Introducing Highly Processed Foods in Early Childhood
When children only want to eat chicken nuggets and mac & cheese, parents have a right to be concerned. Try not to offer these foods in early childhood. They contain ingredients that are addictive and can lead to mood swings and tantrums when they don’t get them.
Prepare Food Differently
Instead of giving into nuggets and mac & cheese, try preparing and seasoning nutritious foods differently. Children are human, too. It’s ok to dislike certain foods.
However, it may be just a matter of preparing the foods differently. I would never eat salmon as a child. As an adult I had it seasoned and shredded into pasta and enjoy it weekly now.
Cooked versus raw peppers, zucchini with herbs and spices, eggplant served as baba ghanoush, or celery dipped in peanut butter may inspire a new love for nutritious foods in your child.
Summary: Tips to Make Snack Time Easier
Keep the Routine
To help make snack time easier and more organized, remember that kids require routine. They create scripts in their heads about the three to four steps that build up to eating.
For instance, a meal or snack time routine may include:
1. Sitting the child down in an age-appropriate chair.
2. Putting a bib on your toddler.
3. Wiping their hands clean.
4. Maybe even singing a song before eating.
Even though a snack may be on the run, keep the routine as consistent as possible to limit tantrums or food refusal.
Plan and Shop for Snack Ingredients
Another tip is to plan a variety of snacks at the beginning of the week and add the ingredients to your shopping list. If ingredients for two to three snacks are on hand, it’s easy to adapt according to what your child needs or wants.
Never Pressure or Reward
Finally, remember to never pressure your child to eat or clean their plate. This can come in the form of "You won't get dessert if you don't eat your veggies," to "Mmm, this is so good. Don't you want to try?"
Similarly, as harmless as it seems, don't reward children for eating. Whether it's acknowledging that the child earned dessert after eating a meal or clapping after a child eats healthy foods on their plate.
Both pressuring and rewarding create associations of eating with pleasing the caregiver, and not eating with disappointing them. This supports acts of rebellion, fear, and even lack of genuine hunger at meal times. Children stop eating certain foods and adults label this "picky eating."
The best thing to do is offer nutritious foods at regular times in an environment with minimal distractions. Then be ok with whatever your child does or doesn't eat.
If you're concerned about your child's eating habits speak with your pediatrician or make an appointment with a dietitian.
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